Before this, when it came to my process with Renee, I kept giving her different references for what I wanted, from pixie to bob. I didn’t really know what I wanted, I just knew I wanted to get rid of it. She finally recommended I do a chin-length bob, and that if I wasn’t feeling it, we would just go all the way with a pixie cut. When I sat in the chair, she explained that she would be doing an undercut at the back of my head. “That way it will lay flat and have a cool shape,” she said. I did not understand that this was another term for shaving one’s head. So when she started shaving, I reached back only to feel my scalp. From now on, everyone must call this an undershave…because I was truly not ready for that. But, again, I trusted her and now understand what she was trying to do. For anyone wanting to cut their hair off, my biggest advice is to find someone that you really trust. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s just hair. It’s actually a deeply spiritual thing.
Roe ultimately went for a chin-length bob. “It feels so good to have been able to let go of that weight. I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner.”But even with knowing I’d have the best of the best hairstylist doing my cut, I still had my anxieties leading up to the big day, especially the day before. I was spiraling thinking about all of the ‘last times’ with my hair: the last time I’m going to take the train with long hair, or get coffee at my favorite spot. I was nervous about my cheeks; people being able to see them more than they used to and remembering how I was made fun of for them growing up. I was having a panic attack. What helped me get out of my anxiety was talking to friends and also making a playlist, Mane Moves, filled with upbeat house and funk-inspired songs, from “Communicate” by Mick Jenkins and Ravyn Lenae to “Groovin’” by Flamingosis, to really make it a fun and enjoyable experience.
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